Here you go. I am not going to take back any thing that I'll write next. I've become sad about so many things. But I never questioned my God. I won't be too shy to admit that Yes, I did struggle.
In order for you to understand, let me share where are these thoughts coming from. Last November, I did resign at work (call center). Personal reason, read it HERE. I wanted to rest from the little exhaustion that I got (fyi, I had a great time @ Alorica). I wanted to regain strength, more importantly, regain the weight that I lose. Part of the little vacation that I had was a thought of going back to what I love most,--being a nurse. From the time the results of the Board Exam were released, I did not apply at any hospital (which I do want to regret but I decided not to :p ) Last February, I applied in a hospital which I really wanted to get into. But, it wasnt for me. It was so sad to not get what you want (You guys know the feeling) especially when you really see yourself working there. Sucks, right. Day after that, I moved on and told my God "that whatever His plans for me are, Thy Will Be Done" I will no longer do things according to 'my' will but according to His. I know, I know everything does happen for a reason and my God has His own reasons. There is this another hospital that I really want to get into and I remembered that there was a night when I prayed before I went to bed, I prayed that May He let me work there even if it is a bit far from my place.
Fast Forward to March, I got endorsed in a hospital in the city (Thanks to my Grandfather) but I was in doubt of taking it. The same date that I was endorsed to that hospital was the time when someone from the hospital that I-prayed-to-get-into sent me a message that I am scheduled for an exam and interview. That day, I did not know where to even put the happiness that I was feeling. Two weeks after I was interviewed, my good friend Charmaine told me that my paper got a note "for training". Only thing is, we do not know when is the training going to be. I waited for two weeks and still did not get any news. Friday of last week, March 30, after some chat with Charmaine, I decided that if before the Holy Week and the hospital will not call, then I'll go to the hospital in the city where I was endorsed and be scheduled so I can start my training. I was so confused. I tweeted "i am so confused. May You bless the choices that I will make, Lord" ONE HOUR after having decided that, I finally got a text message from the hospital's hr asking me to report on Monday. The moment I got to read that, I literally jumped for Joy and said "Thank You, Jesus!!" and I tweeted, "Wow.. just when I really really need an answer!! thank you, Jesus! I love you" . Wow. God moves in mysterious ways.
It is not easy to be patient. It is truly not. Especially when you know people that are enjoying being employed. I had to battle with that because I never want to be jealous of anything. So it is not easy. But there are so many things ahead of us that are truly worth the wait. Things that we do not see coming at all but in the end leave us loaded with joy.
I had my tough times while waiting. Being idle for a couple of months is not that I have ever dreamt of. But those months that I was weak were the times that I have become stronger (and better). I thank my God for the struggle that I experienced. I thank my God for letting me experience a little heartache and sorrow. It is hard to battle with all those thoughts every single day. It was not easy.
After all, I realized after I graduated, after my review for NLe, after the NLE, i immediately had my work, so maybe those months that I spent being idle (although sad) prepared me to finally do something what I love most. I mean, it was not easy (I'm saying this again) but our God has His own reasons. His ways are not easy to understand (let's face it) but His ways are....the Best.
Yes, God has His own reasons and He moves in Mysterious Ways.
So there. In the spirit of Holy Week, I wrote this. Kidding aside, I wrote this because I wanted to...inspire.. and say our God is forever Great.
P.S it felt great to write what i've been through. It was a tough job to write what i've been struggling for months. At some point, i am shy to be sharing my struggle but I do not want to mind even if some will try to laugh on what I've been through (i laugh on it as well)
PPS. I dont do this because i am part of anything or what, I blog about this because i do believe in my God. And my God is A Faithful God.
Have a blessed Holy Week everyone!
PPPS God answers in three ways.
First, He says Yes and gives you what you want.
Second, He says no and gives you something better.
Third, He says Wait and gives you the best.
the little kid
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