Quick Drama, hello!

10.26.11 
Hiding. Seeking. Twist. Turns. Ups. Downs.

These words have been really bugging me out for a month now. Writing this while I'm waiting for my shift to end. Its 8:13 on my computer.

I'm still at work. I'm a new call center baby. The thing here is that, I don't exactly know where am I heading to at this point. Receiving calls, yes I can somehow adjust and talk to some americans or those living in the USa who give us a call. I have no complaint of them. I'm writing this thing right here because as a beginner, yeah its okay to make mistakes. As a beginner, you will make mistakes not just once but you'll learn from it little by little. In life, at work, you can't know it all especially when you're new in the field. 

Actually. At the moment, I feel so uncertain. I want to quit, but I want to try some more. I want to just leave work, and do what can make me happy..--be a full pledged nurse and maybe study again. Thing here is that, I want my future to be the way I dreamt of it that's why I am working hard right now so I can get what I want. But at some point, I feel like quitting work. Not because of the issues I'm handling, not because some callers being irate. Well, I understand my environment, and I understand what it feels like to be a client. Well, on the other hand, I am very very thankful of my callers who really appreciated everything I did for them. As a starter, I'm not good. I don't expect myself to be really good but I do strive to give my callers the best of service. I see the value of having work and being unemployed. I realize all the things I should realize. 

Its just...I want to become a nurse. Not here. And quit being an agent. You know, its hard to do something if your heart is not really into it. Yes, I love lending a hand, may it be via phone but..the job as a nurse is that one thing that can make me happy. Sigh. I jsut have my reasons why I need to be here. I need to somehow save something up in order for me to become a skilled nurse. I hope you guys get me. 

Too dramatic. Enough. 

xx
Littlekid.little agent.little nurse.

the little kid

Scream or enjoy the ride?

Hi! I'm up for a little writing.

Nothing in this world is easy. We people need to strive harder to get what we want. I've been thinking a lot lately. Literally, thinking. I entered a world which I am not familiar with in the first place. It's a bit of a hassle, you know. It's like I'm in a boutique and I can't find the right clothes that will fit on the type of my body. Since I am a newbie in the business of call center, I am still on the level where I need to adjust and adapt.

Some of you may ask, hey you already passed the board so why be in there? I have my own reasons. I'm here to pursue something because that's how I love nursing and my mum. Weird answer? Yeah, I know. But in a span of 6 months (or less), I can give you my reasons.

So as I have mentioned, I've been thinking a lot lately. About what? About a lot of things.

1. The weather. The weather has been really bad for a few weeks now and two-three typhoons have made a massive destruction in some areas in the country and caused some people to die. It's a total heartbreak whenever I see people suffer because of the government's lack of capabilities to help those people in need. They have spending a lot on some unimportant matters. Now, who gets to suffer? Those unfortunate people. Gah! I feel sorry for those families who lost their loved ones because of this disaster. I'm blessed I've never experienced a flood. My city has never experienced a flood. And I would never want to experience it. Thanks to those people who hand in hand do their best to help those people in need. God bless them more. And to those in the government, use your positions to help people in need not to help yourself gain money and fame or whatever you want me to call you guys. I respect all of you but please be fair to those families. They need you the most.

2.I think, I'm becoming a little matured. Whoa! Just kidding. I just enjoy everything that's on my mind. You know I've been blessed that my parents do trust my decisions and support me all the way. Well I guess that really happens when you finish your school, pass your licensure exam and get a job. Make your momma proud. Mm, I am just glad of the decisions I've made lately (about why I have to work). ( Excuse me, by decisions i mean and im talking about my job and life. Some may have misunderstood me, im not settling down nor pregnant, okay! So please stop whatever youre thinking ;) ) to continue, --And I'm proud of who I have become after all these blessings. MYMP

3. I miss my mom! Haven't Skype-d with her for quite a long time and I've been busy with work (to be certified).

4. My old laptop is not working. It's charger has been really bad lately. So we need a new one, ma! :) well, it's pretty old, hangs up very often and user friendly no more.

5. I struggle saving up! Salary is good. But first two months, saving up is quite awful. My excuse there is that I just enjoyed my first two salaries because I worked hard on it. don't get me wrong, I gave something for my family so it's still good ( I believe). But not-saving-up will only be an excuse for those two months, after this trip that Id be having this weekend id be all up for some saving up to do so that will be great :-)

6. I don't know how exactly those that I've written here relate to the first sentences I typed in "Nothing in this world is easy. We people need to strive harder to get what we want".
Haha! Seriously, I've been thinking a lot lately (again.hahaha) . I think a lot, about my work, my dream, of studying Nursing and working abroad, of how to deal well with those irate Americans....of my future. You knowing having surpassed all the trials that I went through lately wasn't that easy. You know sometimes, life hits you in the head with a brick so you got to remain strong. Break free. It's true, life is a roller coaster: it has it's ups and downs, and it's up to you if you want to scream or just enjoy the ride. :-)

But as for the little kid, she wants to enjoy the ride and go straight to her goals.

How about you? What's keeping you busy and happy?:)

the little kid

God sees my light.

(From my facebook account)

On this day, God wants you to know

... that when you feel down, look at yourself through God's eyes. There are times when no matter how hard you try, you just cannot accept yourself as you are. During such times, think of how you look to God's eyes. In God's eyes, there is no judgment, there is only acceptance. God sees your light when all that you can see are your shadows. God loves you more than anyone could ever love you as you really are.

I needed this. Thank you, Father. This really explains how I feel. 

Once Upon a Time.

You’ll never forget the experiences and the little joys where you put your heart into. Wherever you maybe, all the experiences from the past that have contributed alot on you who you are today will always be irreplaceable. I am not perfect. I can tell the world that I am a sinner. But once upon a time, I was a warrior. I was a real worshipper. I was a speaker. I was an ATE. And a Role Model to the young ones. But, I am imperfect..

Once upon a time, there was this young girl who joined a community called by God. Youth For Christ. That was May 24, 2003. She was small, wearing off shoulder blouse, with jeans and flat rubber shoes plus pig-tails. She was this friendly young kid who was attending the youth camp that same date. The environment was so not-pristine to her since she was used to attending camps and fellowships when she was a Kids for Christ. She has made a lot of friends. She knew what she joined. She was aware of the environment. She loved being there. As time went by, she was asked and invited to be a leader. An ‘’ate’’ for the KFCs. Without any hesitations, she said Yes. She was excited to serve. And she was accustomed of spending her weekends with the kids whom she learned to love a lot. She attended leadership trainings, fellowships, retreats, etc. But she was imperfect.

 She met a lot of people who inspired her. She met people whom she has found so amazing and she looked up to them. She was able to share herself to others, she was not afraid that she was a young leader.  She was dedicated to her service. She was motivated. She was eager to tell the world how great life is when you have Jesus. She was not extraordinary. She enjoyed being in the community. Being herself, dedicated to her work. Loving everything that she was doing. She would rather spend the weekend at service than staying at home or going at the mall. She loved everything that she was doing. She was not hesitant to serve. But she was imperfect.

She loved to sing Worship songs despite having a dreadful voice. The songs of praise were her outlet. According to her, you will see the real her when she worships. She was never afraid of kneeling, raising her hands so high, when she worships. She loved the feeling of worshiping the Lord. Her one on one with the Lord.  She added, ‘Nothing beats the feeling of being high for the Lord’.

She was humble. She made a lot of friends. The friends that good or bad, are still her friends. She spent sleepless nights in service but she didnt get tired. She begged for her parents’ permission to attend a conference and serve even if she was sick—because she wanted to serve. She had difficult times of having money in order to go for service, but the Lord has always blessed her.

She had a lot of predicaments in the service, but she was able to surpass them all because she had great brothers and sisters and she was way tough.

She had a beautiful YFC story. Once upon a time, she was once awarded a hero. And once upon a time, kids who knew her would run onto her and hug her like she was an angel and a clown. 

But she was imperfect, and a sinner. She stumbled so many times.  Stood up so many times.

She's no longer active. She may no longer be a leader, but her story never ends. Up to this moment, her heart continues beating and keeps in mind everything she learned.  People never knew her excess baggage.

On the other hand, she is still small. The small girl who is trying to keep everything on track. She keeps on loving.  She’s still a warrior. A worshipper by heart. But Role Model no more. She is still tough, and way better. But she still struggles.   Her story is tear-jerking. But she will be forever thankful of her life’s struggles. Without those heart-rending moments in her life, she may not be able to withstand with broken legs and she may not be able to fully understand how great life really is. She is a wounded warrior. But her scars are her layers of armor. But as the song says, ‘Deep inside this armor.. the warrior is a child’

She served. She fell. She stumbled so badly. She withstood the hurricane. ------She is a sinner. She is imperfect. Her story of love, happiness, joy, victories and defeats are never ending…

THIS IS MY STORY. And my story is incessant.

----This is one of my favourite blogs. I almost cried. Dear Lord God, thank you for loving me every day.--  This is a Glimpse of my YFC story. I will forever treasure the moments I had in Yfc.  Being a YFC was one of the best things in my life.