Losing grip?

Da da da. In the midst of all the chaos we're going through, I still love you. 


Sometimes I just cant understand. Why does it always has to be me? From the very beginning, I have loved you. I have loved you with all my heart. With all my heart that you know every little thing I did to fix everything right.


Sucks that it always has to come to the point that we'll crash each other's hearts. I know how much you love me. I will always be thankful for your love. For your care. 


But Please know. I have dreamt of being treated like a real lady. Just how you treat others. I am still your girl. I KNOW YOU HAVE ALL YOUR QUANDARIES but please let me share mine.


I want you to really be careful of me. The way you handle me or caress me in your way. I still want that kind of sweet touches from you. 


Don't ever get me wrong. I know how you feel. But have you ever listened to my point? Not because you are the guy, it'll always be you. Have you really listened to the things inside the core of my heart? How aware are you that you really are hurting me so bad right now? 


I don't intend to get mad at you. I know alll my wrongdoings. But please know yours. It'll not always be all about my faults. You may say I am too much, but have you assessed yourself? Really?


You, for the most part, are my biggest source of happiness. And it kills me knowing that you are that certain person that can get me wounded at the same time. 




I apologize for becoming this worst. With all my heart, I want you to know how sorry I am. I guess my being worst has turned you off. 

I am putting my heart into this. 

I would never give up. Why should I. But just like you, I am a human being. Hurting. I dont know when will you be able to read this, because really. At this point in time now, you made me speechless.

I wanna hug you tight at this moment.

I wanna kiss you assuming that everything was just right.

I wanna hold your hand just like the old times.

I wanna take care of you, the way I have been wanting you to be taken care of.

I wanna share these teardrops with you cause I know you would somehow wipe these tears away.

I wanna tell you everything that's inside of me, but will you listen?

I wanna ask you if can we just forget those things?

I wanna let you know that I have no intentions of hurting you. 


But, I just cant. I am choosing to be in silence. Cos maybe, in my silence. Everything will be alright.


P.S. I sincerely apologize. Please always know that I love you.I dont want to give up. Losing my grip, but still trying a knot and hanging on.