Vexed.

May 2, 2011: 9:30pm

Vexed about so many stochastic matters.

Woke up today, quite anxious. Feeling a little downcast with some Board Exam matter. I only have two months left. Two months for a lifetime! I am trying my best not to get disheartened by the things surrounding me at the moment. Financially, Emotionally, Physically, Mentally—I am trying my best.

Okay, okay. I am no Cum Laude. I am no Dean’s Lister, I am an ordinary student with a pretty good fully-functioned brain. Yeah, the Board Exam isn’t about those students who have consistently topped the review exams nor students who are on the DL or whatever. I know, when you  take the exam, there’s equality. My point here is, am I really ready? Can I just set aside those dilemmas of the NLE, and focus?

Our papers are still in process. The College has been enormously hard to deal with. They are the very first persons to judge our abilities, setting aside the equality that they teach. At this very moment, I still do not know if I can take it on July. I still do not know. But I want to.

This will be the last day, the very last day of all the bumming and stuff.

I Promise.