Truth is...

I am not very vocal here about my relationship's predicaments and stuff. But now, I am here to write down how grateful I am-- again for having Patten. We've been together for 3 years and 6 months (43rd month on the 29th). . Everyday, I thank God for giving Patten to me. All these years he has continued to be my best sounding board, my shock absorber, my prayer partner, and my human diary.  Cheesy, yes. But I am really grateful for all the things he has done for me. I try not to talk about him as much as I can because it's cheesy and I want to make it private. But allow me to just express how g.r.a.t.e.f.u.l I am. How many times have i said grateful? Excuse my mushy-ness. I always find it hard to scribble my thoughts well when it comes to Patten. He's no extraordinary, but there are so many special things about him that I find it hard to tell. 

I've committed a foul in our relationship. Foul means, something that shouldnt be done in our relationship, so its foul. If some are used to lying in their partners because their partners wouldnt allow them to do what they wanted to do, well i am not. Now, I just have the courage to blog here that, I lied to Patten. (not that I chose some other guy over him, okay, (its not that). Lying is an issue in us because we dont lie with each other. And we never tolerate lies. It was just after I realized (after the lying and stuff) that I cant take it. Small or big, I cant because Patten doesnt deserve that. So, I eventually told him about what I lied about. I knew he'll be mad, I knew i should accept what the consequences may be, I had to be ready if I wanted to let him know. I knew it all. What I only kept in my mind that time was: He needs to know because he doesn't deserve a single lie.

I was lucky enough that despite him getting mad about the causes of my lying, his girlfriend lied on him, and stuff, he just hugged me and told me not to never do that again. He set aside his anger. His love for me was unfailing. Something I should always be proud of. Yes, it wasnt easy to be courageous enough to face it. It wasnt easy to say hey i lied to you about this and that, sorry for making you look stupid, sorry for this and that. Why? Because the damage has been done already. Too late for some apologies but I had to apologize. But I dont want to be too hard on myself, more importantly ... I never want to be unfair to him. So, thats it. Face the consequences no matter how miserable you'll be. But heck, I am a lucky girl. Girls should begrudge me. Id never let go of this guy. Never. He's a lot to lose. The one whom my soul loves. Cheesy but true. The little kiddo must be really grateful.

PS: The Truth Will Set you free but It first, itll make you miserable.

Truth is, i am a lucky girlfriend. 

☮♥☺