REJECTED.

The case forms I've been spending so much of my time with. The ever so stressful case forms. The main reason why I've been staying up late lately. 

And so, I got to edit those rejected case forms. Gaahd, should have produced/printed one copy instead of printing 3 copies each. Darn. Wrong move. Praying that there'll be no corrections. And will get to see the CIs! (Hopeful).


1:58am, Off to the Dreamland.


xoxoxo

factsyoudontknow.

....

1. I am a Kuya’s girl.

2. I joined some kiddie pageants when I was a kid.

3. I got to bag Miss Intramurals title when I was in Grade 4. Beating the 4^th, 5^th & 6^th graders in school.

4. I used to be the class’ representative for A1 Child when I was in Grade 3 and 4. I used to recite poems as my talent way back then. Ha-ha.

5. When I was in Grade4, a classmate bullied me. She was saying I got big breasts, and saying so many not-so-good-things about me which I am really not. During the Christmas Carol contest (I was included in the class’ rep) she never stopped so I came home crying and telling my mum to transfer me even to a public school just to get rid of her. After hearing my dilemmas, my mom went to school and talked to my adviser. Good thing, I got my classmates and teachers’ back.

6. This has to be one of the most memorable. I got the highest score in a Reading class quiz when I was in Grade 5. I was happiest then because I got to beat the intellectual ones in the class. He-he.

7. My very first teacher was Ma’am Tess. We call her Ma’am Tess Buntis! Haha. Because she always had looked preggy. And even up to the moment that I’m a grown up, she still remembers me.

8. My favourite dance was Macarena &My heart goes shalalala. When I was like 6 or 7, my cousins and I always had this dance sessions in my Lola’s house.

9. I learned playing Chess when I was 6 or 7. Me and my cousins were first taught to play using the rooks and pawns only.

10. I was good in DAMA way back then before Chess.

11. I became quite good in Chess when I learned how to use all the chess officials. From the Pawn-Rook to the Real Chess.

12. Backstreetboys is my all-time-favourite boyband.

13. When I was in Grade5, I was invited to attend the Kids For Christ Regional Conference in Los Baños. I was just a participant, and I was just roaming around. I was watching the Batangas’ Female Kid representative for Chess and they asked if I know how to play, we played and I got to be the representative. Hahaha! And I only got to compete with one kid, and I got the championship award, fortunately!

14. I was an on-the-spot-muse. Nahh. I was at home, playing video games with my brothers and suddenly my Godmother (Ninang Rose) arrived. She was telling my mom that their muse would not be able to come, and they needed one. So we arrived at Mandaluyong and I was Lipa’s muse for Tapondo. Hahaha. Funny! I got chubby cheeks, no, I mean I was really chubby. I was wearing a backless, pants, rubber shoes and short hair. HAHAHA. Oh my goodness!

15. I am no good in crocheting. We had this TLE project in 6^th grade, and we had loads of crochets to pass and since I am no good, our Valedictorian did my work. Hahahahah!

16. I had a group in 6^th grade, we named our group as ‘Taray Girls’. All came from our Section A. But.. I got to quit in the group cos some girls were trying to say bad things about me cos of jealousy. Why? Cos her crush in the class was my escort when I was the class muse in grade 3 and 4. And then, the guy’s closest female friend was me. So there you go. Haha. Very silly.

17.  When I was 12, I attended the first International Kids Village in Pasig. And I had menstruation. Geez. And I was about to play chess again as Batangas’ Representative, I won over a girl, but I was way anxious. Next game, I lost. Then I just noticed I got stain on my pants. Heck.

18. I used to be a part of the Riverside Choir. I used to sing with the choir in Cathedral and in the chapel in the subdivision. But please, my voice is annoying! HAHAHHAHA.

19. First heartbreak in school was when I found out that my name got to be in a quite low section. I cried. Really cried. I was asking why. I knew I did good in the exams, I was an achiever, but heck. Cos I was a late enrolee, that’s why. Sucks.

20. I was quite mad for being in the L section. I’ll probably miss the nerds. But then there was when I realized I had leadership skills pala.

21. Because I wanted to prove something in my first yr, I submitted a mission-vision form which my Tita Nenet helped me with to run for Student Council. I wanted to prove something, kasi.

22. I got the highest number of votes in the entire first year candidates. Got to beat our Gradeschool Valedictorian. (He’s my friend, don’t get me wong). They said because I was quite popular that’s why, but I guess its because many just believed.

23. I loved my first year classmates. They were very supportive and I made new good friends. I must say. And that person I was talking about in #4 was one of those. Reconciliation it is!

24. I enjoyed being in YFC the first moment I got to be in it. My Youth Camp May 24-25, 2003. That was when Patten (my bestguy) first saw me. But I didn’t notice him that much. Haha.

25. Late 2003, a surprise visit and invitation. Kuya Jo Zabala, Kuya Ian Enriquez and Tito Jess went in our house and told my parents that they are giving me the responsibility of being a Cluster Kids’ Ate. Meaning I’d be handling the KFC’s of Lipa. On my part, although I didn’t know what really are my responsibilities, I just said YES.

26. My first puppy love was Patten. But lasted for 5 months I guess.

27. My first ‘boyfriend’ was Justin Ulysses Gregorio:YSIS! He was like my look a like back then. And guess what, I was first year hs then and I kept denying on my mom that I got a bf. (Sorry mama) HAHAHA!

28. Ysis and I lasted for 4 months and 4 days and I broke up with him on the phone. He felt so saaaad. Haha. But Ysis and I were really good friends and I love his family who has continued to be so nice to me.

29. One of the most embarrassing moments in highschool was when I fell of the stairs in the library noisily. HAHAHHAHA.

30. May of 2004, I attended a Discovery Camp. And that was one of the most memorable camps to date. That was when I discovered that I could also be in a gag show. Hehehe/

31. Me and my friends used to compete in Gag Shows. Yeahh!

32. I am inlove with board games, Chess, Checkers, Games of the General, Word Factory, Scrabble. It runs in the family.

33. I am a hardcore buddy. I love basketball. I used to try out for high school varsity but my brothers and mom wanted me to stop trying outs.

34. Aside from Basketball, I also play Volleyball, badminton, and a bit of table tennis and bowling.

35. I am no swimmer.

36. I was never afraid of heights.

37. I love to hang out with friends. Friends’ place & Talk about life.

38. The first liquor I drank was Fundador wih Coke as its chaser. I was Grade 4 then and we were in an outing with cousins. Hehehe!

39. I had a boyfriend in highschool named Carlo which my family didn’t like. He was good in piano and music and smart. I remembered when I broke up with him, he was so freakin mad at me and saying such bad words. Hey, I was youuunng. Hahaaha.

40. I was betrayed thrice.

41. My first bestfriends were John Carlo Maglinao and Eljane Sy.

42. Noel Nico Mendoza is another best friend. And his girlfriend for 7 and a half years, Kristine Marie Magaling has been my soul sister for the longest time.

43. I got the best highschool classmates.

44. My first prom date was Pamela Vergara. My sister Pam. Missing you, Pochie!

45. My last prom, was another worth remembering. I got to be on stage for the Prophecy part (idk what to call that), participated in the dance, and I had a fun night with friends!

46. I was 3^rd yr Highschool when a brother in YFC told me that from Cluster ate, I was anointed as the Sector Kids ate. Thank you!

47. I’ve been out for 3 days (not spending the night at home) just to serve.

48. The first friend I lost was Von Edward Pelagio. And that was heart breaking. It was a Sunday morning, and the next day was just the first day of school in College. But we lost him. Massacre, and yeah. He’s one of the best guys I met. One of the guys I most comfortable being with.

49. First Mission Trip was in Mamburao, Occidental Mindoro. It was so nice some people, a  little
younger than me, committing themselves in God serving the KFCs of Mindoro.

50.  Matrix, Ocean 11 and Xmen, all-time favourite movies.

51. When I was a kid, I used to watched Home Along Da Riles every Thursday Night. And I found my self crying every time Dolphy gives pieces of advice then.

52. I had this NREM while in the LRT. Take note, I was standing.

53. I dreamt of being a nun. (Grade 4)

54. If I didn’t choose Nursing, I’m probably enrolled in Paralegal Course.

55. I didn’t know Nursing would be this fun. I cant imagine myself not being a nurse. A good caring registered nurse.

56. I love to draw. And every drawing has its own story.

57. I’ve got the chance to host in an event in Baguio. International Kids Village, for Creative Competition. Hosted it with Ate Gerra.

58. I am a CUTE and CHUBBY awardee in YFC’s Human Bingo! Missing those chubby cheeks.

59. Best award I received, and the most touching to date was Huwarang Kabataang Bayani Award. Thanks to those who believed in me.

60. I never got to win any chess championship in highschool. I’ve never got the chance the very brilliant Sheila Despi. Hehehe!

61. I got crazy mates in freshmen. Queenie, Gimeno, Pao, Jel and my partner in crime, Ian Gian Mel Gutierrez has been a motivator. She’s very studious and she was a big help.

62. I got a huge forehead.

63. I have never smoked nor tried, not even once.

64. First time I felt quite drunk, was amazing. Ive never been drunk so when I had myself drunk, I loved the feeling although I had a serious headache. Hahaha. (BF got mad at me, he is not a fan of me getting drunk) :P

65. I love to play with photos and edit them out.

66. I pray for the strangers I get to see everyday.

67. I have a wide range of patience. But please don’t reach my total boiling point.

68. When I know I am right, I fight for it.

69. I spend so much of my time in the bathroom. Thinking. Dreaming.

70. I got a student license @ 20.

71. Patintero is my alltime favourite native game.

72. I got a creative mind.

73. I love throwing out surprises, that’s when I can utilize my creativity.

74. I am no good in singing nor in dancing.

75. I can play the guitar.

76. I always dream to play the drums, do ballet, learn piano.

77. I first composed a song for my first boyfriend in highschool.

78. I am adventurous.

79. I wouldn’t mind if people are gonna label me.

80. I am strong yet fragile.

81. My family is the most important.

82. I only stand 4 feet 10 ¼ inches.

83. I am inlove with History ever since.

84. My heart goes out to those little creatures.

85. I am no good in make ups.

86. I am a fan of Chuck Taylors.

87. I value my real set of friends a lot. I say a lot.

88. I am hilarious.

89. I had a frizzy hair, so I decided to have my hair rebonded in Dec 2010.

90. I can spend longer hours in the laptop playing Sims3.

91. I don’t love my skin, but I love myself.

92. Ive got no pets.

93. I love taking photos.

94. I am not the conscious type of lass on how she looks.

95. I dont walk beautifully.

illusion.

To dance is to be out of yourself.

Larger, more beautiful, more powerful.

This is power, it is glory on earth,

and its yours for the taking.

(Patten took the shot and I played with it)

xoxoxo

Beautiful Strangers.

March 23, I was with my good buddies, Patten & Bancs. After we had our individual tasks done, the three of us decided to go on a night photoshoot somewhere along the city. At first, I wasnt that excited because of the so many not so good news I received the whole day but when we got to go in the park, I saw these beautiful strangers. And made me feel better. 

Live simply. Speak kindly. Care deeply. Love generously.

Save One Soul.

Isn't it great when people would come to you and tell you that you've inspired them. I was at our Retreat. Our section was combined with Section 14. At the activity that we were about to hug those from the other section, I got the chance to hug this girl. What I only knew was, I just met her in YFC. Just that. That's all I knew. So I hugged her.

Me: Hi, Sorry. Thank You. I love You

.
Stranger: You don't remember me, right?

Me: Hmmm..What I just know is, you're a YFC.

Her: Ahh. You were my fascilitator in my youth camp. (Smiling)

Me: *teary-eyes* Sorry!! THANK YOU SO MUCH. *hugged her tight*

its not that easy for me to remember all their names and stuff. But here, I was so suprised. It was just so great to see someone you fascilitated and now enjoying the life of being in service. You know what, when I was 13, 14. Our leaders in YFC has always reminded us, that when you fascilitate, when you serve in youth camps, the least thing you can do is to SAVE ONE SOUL. When I grew in service, and got to fascilitate those younger or quite older than me, that has always been instilled on my mind. When I used to be a fasci, all I wanted was to inspire others. To allow others to let God enter the core of their hearts. and to fascilitate them as they take their first step in service. and I was just so glad, when Jen told me about this. After hearing those, I hugged her tight. I was glad that she remembered me. I was glad to know that I have inspired someone. I was glad to know, that she is really enjoying being in the community. I was glad. And everytime I remember that, I always smile. I was glad for atleast, I know I saved one soul.

Meet Jen. Excuse my look, okay. Haha.

Sounding Board.

Patten brought me AGAIN a dinner. Late dinner. He always does things that will make me feel better when I'm upset for the most part. When I don't talk, he knows that there are million of things running in my mind.He knows the little things that I can be upset about. He knows the very little things that would break my heart.  I'm a lucky girl. Thanks, Ten. I know you will be able to read this. You've been so patient the whole time. You always choose to be there. Thank you for being the best sounding board. You've seen me at my worst, and thank you for sticking. For choosing to stick. I love you.

Broken Promise.

I hate promises. I'm not of fan of People breaking promises. Good thing, I didnt expect THAT MUCH. I understand, but you broke my heart. That's not good. Next time, do not ever say your promises. Cos breaking promises are bullshit. :P

P.S Hey, I know I just posted about the Heal Thy Heart thing. But this here was just a little expression of how I feel tonight.  OH YEAH, I UNDERSTAND. Thanks for the broken promise :P

HEAL.THY,HEART.

One of the days I've been looking forward to is the time when my classmates and I will have a moment of Silence, Plain Joy, Forgiveness and Love. And those days came. and seems like it'll be never ending. 

I am no first timer on attending retreats. I love Retreats. I am inlove with Retreats. I used to attend several retreats when I was in service. I had fun on my Senior HS Retreat, which I still can not forget. Retreats basically for me are fun. They're worth attending and you feel so much at ease when you are attending one. 

March 7, 8 and 9. The days I must say those days I did feel our class really became a single unit

.
March 7. I was so glad to know that my roomates will be Lindsay and Heather. My buddies. My sisters. And I've been missing Lindsay alot since we're no longer groupmates and we just see each other during lecture days. So Heather and I missed the bonding. As giggly as we were, we didnt waste any of out precious times together in our room

.
The highlight of the first day was the Confession. Unfortunately, we seated at the back so we'll go last and the confession was running really late. I've been wanting to confess. An hour before my turn to confess, I reflected hard and repented harder. Was almost in tears. Nah, I was really in tears while praying and talking to the Great Man above in silence.  I've thought that I was most probably healed. But I wasnt right. I was just halfway healed, I realized. But God really has His own ways of healing you. I know how lucky and blessed I am so dont get me wrong.It was my turn to confess, I said my sins. And how I sinned. After I was blessed, I prayed, closed my eyes and burst into tears. I burst into tears because I felt how great God's love for me is. Despite my appalling failures. I barely remember the amount of tears I shed when I did the kneeling and prayed. What can I recall most is how I felt the healing afterwards. After the confession, I felt totally healed. I believe, when God knows what's really in the core of your heart, He'll give you what you desire in His perfect time. And that was just the perfect timing. I have been praying for a total healing. But, i felt half empty and halfway healed for the past 2 years. And that night, God granted me my wish. Be Healed. And I felt extreme joy. No more pain in the heart. No more. I renewed myself, which was great. And Thank You, Father. I regained myself. As what our Retreat Fascilitator,Kuya Pau said, if you want a HEALTHY HEART. You have to HEAL.THY.HEART. And that happened.

 
Day 2. GREAT MORNING!
It was a great morning. And we learned alot. From the mass down to the activities and sessions. We Realized each others values more. And. We felt so understood and more loved. We had the chance to had one-on-one talk to the members of the class. And first I talked to was Lindsay. And my tears just cant stop falling because I know how dear she is to me. If you know me, I mean I am that one person who values the friends I really make. And we were both crying. I love her as much as I love Heather. They have made a huge impact in my College life. And that will never change. We have plenteous of differences, tear jerking misunderstandings and all, but the friendship will always be there. We've made so much memories that we can wrap ourselves in when the world gets cold. Yeah. It was harder than I thought to enumerate cos each member of the class were so incredible. I never doubt the goodness of their hearts. And I was so glad I was able to address each one of them how I appreciate them as who they really are. It was so nice to see reconciliations from those who had fights, it was so great to feel the love around. I felt the peace in each and everyone's hearts. Our swollen eyes from numerous shedding of tears, didnt matter. We hugged, kissed and expressed love. That part was undeniably the most worth remembering.

As our eyes were almost shutting, Kuya Pau said we will be having a Film Processing. And man, the movie was Matrix. So out of my drowsiness, I wondered what's the purpose of Kuya Pau for making us watch Matrix. I've watched the movie for the nth time. It's one of my favorites. So since Ive watched the movie so many times, I closed my eyes and took a nap but eventually opened my eyes when the fight scenes were being shown and I was wide awake. After the film, we had this film processing. so many lessons learned, one of which was: Don't think who you are, know who you are. Stop Thinking. Start Believing.

.
Day 3. GREAT MORNING.
Will you believe me if I say it was my first time attending an ash wednesday mass? Heeh! Loved the mass. Loved every little thing the priest addressed to us

.
We had this activity wherein we will be stating what is that thing we see physically on the person to our right that we hate or we're jealous of. It was a very fun and interactive activity. HAHA! And we learned.

You know what. If I'd be looking back on my highschool retreat, October 2006 its quite different from what we had this college. During those times, we were crying alot. Literally. We were sharing our sorrows and all. But this time, it was different. I guess it was because we were all matured. I guess because its not just what the retreat is all about. It wasnt just about reminiscing the things that have hurt you, nor remembering the wonderful moments in your life. Or maybe just praying and praying.

My meannisms about the Retreat:
Retreats are never boring. It will only be boring if you, yourself, are boring. If you just allow your heart to embrace the essence of what a Retreat is all about, you'll get the chance to experience the joy i'm talking about. ReTREAT. Treat is to cure, heal. And Re means again. Meaning to heal again. And that one great person who heals you fully is that one great person who loves you unconditionally and constantly, God. Retreat, you are being healed once you allow Him to enter to your heart, and directly to you soul. Its the time to Go back to the Lord. Its never too late to say your sins, and repent. Its a matter of Repentance, Faith, Healing and Forgiveness. God heals all wounds. Just like any other soldiers being wounded in the battlefield, you also need to retreat. We all need to retreat. We are all wounded. Wounds are part of our lives. Wounds are necessary for us people to see the light and realize that God can only give us the right amount of light we really need. Its a way to Jesus' loving heart.

And lastly, I believe. After the 3day retreat, with full conviction i must say I AM HEALED. We are all healed.

 
Sharing some photos from our retreat, thanks Len for the pics! :D

Hey, No more Division! I love Group A, B, C! :D

 GROUP A-wesome. :D

My Group B.

 GROUP C-Cutie pies!

WHO WOULDNT MISS THE OLD GROUP B! I MISS! 

We miss Ate Maan who happened to stop because she had an early blessing!YEAH!

WHO WOULDNT LOVE KUYA PAU!

 IMPLEMENTING THE REAL SIGN OF ROCK AND ROLL!

 MY FAVES, LEN AND HEDS! HUGS AND KISSES!

 KUYA PAU! YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION.

JUST ONE TAKE, LORD. ONE.

 JUMPING! I GOT A HEALTHY HEAR cos I let my God heal me! :D

THIS IS THE ANSWER.

PS: As the members of the class got to their homes after the retreat, everyone felt an extreme change. An expression of love all over the corners in the class. Everything has gone great.

Yahknow.

Despite the fights and all, at the end of the day you'd still end up exchanging 'sorry and I love you'. You're a lot to lose e, ya know! :D

Graduation Photos.

GRADUATION PICTURES! :D

ONE. 

GOT THIS:

 FIRST WACKY! 

      

 2nd: 

YEAHHH! IN NO TIME, I WILL BE A GRADUATE! :D

And the two girls I will never forget:

 

 YEAHHH :)                     

Curls.

 

 

Sharing photos after our Gradpic Photoshoot! Curls! :-) Heather did the curls! 

One sweet midnight.

Time check: 12:21am: Can I just say..I'm really a lucky girl? An hour ago. I was starving and got nothing to eat here. Patten knows that I was starving and he decided to drop me something to eat. Aw. I know how busy he really is on his plates. But. Yeah. 11:47pm He arrived here and handed me the food. After the huge fight we had last night, here's my same old sweet guy.

 

Patten texted ''Wanna make you feel you feel loved everyday coz u deserve it. sana nagagawa ko''.

Of course, you do! <3

xxx

little kiddo (blushing)

Zahd.

I don't usually feel sad. But today, its a bit different. The sadness is quite terrible. I'm normal. So I feel sad. Phbt. Will allow myself to feel sad for the meantime. But. I won't be sad the whole day. I'll be choosing to be happy within. Maybe a little later. Just allowing myself to be sad. Cause I really am.

xxxx 

Born This Way.

It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M 

Just put your paws up 

'Cause you were born this way, baby 

My mama told me when I was young 

We're all born superstars 

She rolled my hair, put my lipstick on 

In the glass of her boudoir 

"There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are" 

She said, "'Cause He made you perfect, babe" 

"So hold your head up, girl and you you'll go far, 

Listen to me when I say" 

I'm beautiful in my way, 

'Cause God makes no mistakes 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born this way 

Don't hide yourself in regret, 

Just love yourself and you're set 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born this way 

(Born this way) 

Ooo, there ain't no other way 

Baby, I was born this way 

Baby, I was born this way 

(Born this way) 

Ooo, there ain't other way 

Baby, I was born this way 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born this way 

Don't be a drag, just be a queen 

Don't be a drag, just be a queen 

Don't be a drag, just be a queen 

Don't be! 

Give yourself prudence and love your friends 

Subway kid, rejoice the truth 

In the religion of the insecure 

I must be myself, respect my youth 

A different lover is not a sin 

Believe capital H-I-M (hey, hey, hey) 

I love my life, I love this record and 

Mi amore vole fe yah 

I'm beautiful in my way, 

'Cause God makes no mistakes 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born this way 

Don't hide yourself in regret, 

Just love yourself and you're set 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born this way 

Ooo, there ain't no other way 

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/born-this-way-lyrics-lady-gaga.html ]

Baby, I was born this way 

Baby, I was born this way 

(Born this way ) 

Ooo, there ain't other way 

Baby, I was born way 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born this way 

( Queen , 

Don't be , Queen ) 

Don't be a drag, just be a queen 

Whether you're broke or evergreen 

You're black, white, beige, chola descent 

You're Lebanese, you're orient 

Whether life's disabilities 

Left you outcast, bullied or teased 

Rejoice and love yourself today 

'Cause baby, you were born this way 

No matter gay, straight or bi 

lesbian, transgendered life 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born to survive 

No matter black, white or beige 

chola or orient made 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born to be brave 

I'm beautiful in my way 

'Cause God makes no mistakes 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born this way 

Don't hide yourself in regret, 

Just love yourself and you're set 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born this way, yeah! 

Ooo, there ain't no other way 

Baby, I was born this way 

Baby, I was born this way 

(Born this way ) 

Ooo, there ain't other way 

Baby, I was born this way 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born this way 

I was born this way, hey! 

I was born this way, hey! 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born this way, hey! 

I was born this way, hey! 

I was born this way, hey! 

I'm on the right track, baby 

I was born this way, hey!

****

A new favourite. So to you, I was born this way. :)